In 1993 I met at the time the man that was going to be my husband. We got married in 1996. About in 2010, the economy started to really take a crash. My husband, his job was affected in construction, so things got a little tight and he had to find some new work. Well during that time the stress became a little too much because he did not have a job and try to provide for our family. I just think it took its toll on the different pressures between not being able to provide for a family, health issues that arose with him and things just started to take a different route in our marriage.
During the 10 months of counseling, we were able to work through some issues and some of the issues also included alcoholism. And with alcoholism, unfortunately, it skews a person’s reality. Through some of that, he also made some very bad choices along the way. Through the counseling and many tears made me realize unfortunately our marriage was over.
It was not just myself that was affected. It was my children. I could not really relate to the emotions that they were experiencing. So oftentimes I had heard it was your marriage and don’t let the bitterness affect your children. So whenever I had problems or feelings of frustration, guilt, anger, I would really just try to encourage my children’s relationship with their father and kept what caused our marriage to be destroyed between us.
I felt the finality of my being divorced. The devil really messes with you with that, especially in a church environment and seeing a whole bunch of married couples, and feeling like, “Yeah, I’m the outsider here.” So I went through a little period of that simply because all my friends were married. I felt that I wasn’t included anymore. It wasn’t the case but during the time, again, the devil messes with your emotion. I felt very isolated. You don’t go into marriage thinking you’re going to get divorced. And I had fought hard spiritually for my marriage and I struggled with that because of many things. How long we were together, being a part of the church, and looking around and seeing a lot of married couples, and the verse in Malachi about how God hates divorce. It was hard for me. I don’t come from a divorced family and to have that was very hard for me.
I prayed a lot and just exposed my emotion completely to Him. The anger I felt, the hurt, the isolation, and a lot of praying. I think one thing that I really have learned though is Satan messes with the label of a divorced woman. There are times where you do want to isolate yourself and you’ve got to push through that. You have to push through it because that’s what he wants. He wants broken fellowship but I finally got to a point where God gave me peace. By the time … Two years later after my divorce was final he gave me peace of knowing I had done everything I could do to save our marriage. I had a peace about me so I could move forward.
Central’s helped me in many different avenues. First of all, to be selfless with time through counseling with elders and ministers, with personal friends. Central’s provided me an opportunity to still provide for my family. Our church really comes together and really helps meet people where they are, and really help them in their situation. People that are struggling but know that they’re trying.
I see myself as an overcomer. I have a Father who loves me. He has not left me. He has not left my children. He has provided for my children in a way that I did not expect through the divorce. And be able to have amazing people come together in community and be able to help us become a family as a whole, as a church, and I don’t have to be married, and that God’s using my story to help other people.